I’ve been away for awhile.
Short version…My life took an unexpected turn and her name is Abby!
Long version…just about a year ago we found out I was pregnant. We were not planning on having any more children – the ones we had were 10, 16, and 17 and I was darn happy with life and the daily freedom I had been enjoying.
But God. He had other plans I guess.
It really threw me for a loop. I was DONE. I liked my life. I didn’t want to care for a baby, endure sleep deprivation, and have a little one hanging on me again. I wanted to enjoy life with my favorite person – my husband of 21 years. Do stuff without kids. Maybe travel.
Most of all, I didn’t want to have another miserable 9 months of pregnancy. My pregnancies are off the charts horrible with nausea, gestational diabetes, and perinatal depression. My body does not deal well with the extra hormones. At all.
And this pregnancy was one for the books. It was freaking miserable every single day. I just wanted to die some days. I only kept going for my family.
Fast forward, after a difficult labor at the end of July we ended up with a tiny precious baby girl who we had no name for until 2 days after her birth. Abigail Faith. In Hebrew it means “joy of the Father”.
After her birth I felt lost. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I felt like my old identity was stripped away and I was handed this new one that I still didn’t really want. Oh, I loved her immediately. But I struggled to accept what had happened to my life. It was a rough beginning for us.
I pretty much let everything go. My introverted ways took over. All I had energy for was family. I shut down my public life – so if you notice some links not working, that’s why. I have alot of work to do to update everything.
I’m coming out of that period now, but I’m still not sure how to move forward. We are adjusting and starting to get some sleep. It’s day by day. I’m happy with the way things are right now and that’s all I know.
What a year it has been. I wonder what God has in store for the next year…